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Leeds Carnegie

The Belfast Telegraph

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Sanchez Resigned to Fulham
Lawrie takes over at Cottage…

Lawrie Sanchez has handed in his expected resignation into Windsor Avenue having been offered an “indefinite, rolling contract” at Craven Cottage.

Sanchez, who took over from ousted Chris Coleman for the last five games of the season, has made no secret of his desire for club management. Prepared to commit to both roles it seems, however, that Mohammed Al Fayed was not prepared for divided loyalties.

“Obviously it is disappointing not to be taking Northern Ireland to the European Championships,” retorted The Mexican.

“But having discussed this at length with the Chairman and the Board, I understand the importance of focusing solely on the task ahead.”

“During my last month at Fulham I became increasingly enthused by working daily with players on the training pitch, and the satisfaction that I felt at seeing the end result on a daily basis. The club has an incredibly professional infrastructure worthy of its Premiership status and it is my aim to finish higher than we ever have before, and to bring the success that the chairman and the supporters deserve for their continued commitment.”

“Northern Ireland will be a great job for someone and I leave the team in good shape with them at the top of their Euro 2008 Qualifying Group. I wish them the best for the future. They’re disappointed but I hope they understand my actions.”

The IFA have said nothing of any significance. It is now their job to find someone who, similar to Sanchez, has fallen out of favour with his club and is unlikely to get any other decent offers.

Obviously, our very own Statto’s Lovechild is currently in talks with Cisco Systems to get a new fibre-optic Prediction Unit installed in his bedroom, as his previous findings came up with Marti Pellow as the obvious replacement for Sanchez, for which we can only apologise. Statto’s has actually offered himself for the job on condition he can still get pissed and sing in the North Stand. The IFA have refused to comment.

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